A Guide to Your First (or Best) Orgasm with a Clit Sucker

The Most Common Question I Get as a Sex Educator

One of the most frequent concerns I hear from women revolves around orgasm. I often get questions like:

• “I’ve never had an orgasm. Am I even capable of it?”
• “How do I know if I’ve had one? I think I have, but I’m not sure.”

Here’s the thing, unless there’s a medical reason to believe otherwise, I’d say it’s safe to assume you can orgasm. And if you’re unsure whether you’ve experienced one, that’s totally okay. Sometimes, it’s simply because you haven’t fully tuned in to what your body needs yet. Orgasms can vary in intensity, but one thing is for sure: when it happens, you’ll absolutely know.

The Power of Masturbation

Some women tell me they want their first orgasm to be with a partner. And while that’s a beautiful and romantic idea, I believe that being able to give yourself an orgasm is just as important, if not more. Self-pleasure is self-care. It’s an intimate act of self-love, a way to nurture your body, and a powerful tool for understanding your own desires.

When you know how to bring yourself to orgasm, you deepen your connection with your body. How you’d like to be touched, the rhythm, and pressure you enjoy, and how your body responds to pleasure. And, this knowledge doesn’t just benefit you, it makes it less stressful when you’re being intimate with a partner because you can guide them toward what works for you. That kind of confidence and self-awareness? Priceless.

Before we dive in, keep in mind that this is my personal orgasmic experience with my favourite sex toy. What works for me might not be the same for everyone, and that’s perfectly okay. But if you’re curious to explore fresh female perspectives on masturbation, then the article is for you!

My Game-Changer: Discovering the Right Toy

I started my journey of self-exploration with just my fingers, and it was a great beginning. It was personal, intimate, and gave me the chance to connect with my body in a simple way. But the moment I introduced toys into the mix? That’s when everything changed.

Toys took my orgasms to a whole new level. Faster, stronger, and more frequent. With the right toy, I could experience multiple orgasms in one session, with barely any pause between them. It’s pure euphoria! But it’s not just about chasing the O, it’s about the entire experience, feeling more playful, sensual, and deeply satisfied in ways that fingers just can’t quite match.

Toys stimulate those sensitive spots that might need a little extra attention, making them even more responsive to arousal. It’s like giving your body an extra spark, intensifying sensations.

That said, I don’t rely on toys all the time. I love switching it up from time to time!

Myths That Surround Using Sex Toys

I know there’s a common myth that using vibrators or sex toys will desensitize you or that you’ll become dependent on them. Honestly, I don’t buy into that at all. I mean, why should anyone be a commentator of what I do in my private time? To me, it’s no different than using an alarm clock. You’re not fully dependent on it to wake up, but it’s a helpful tool when needed. 

Sex toys are tools that don't take away from my ability to enjoy manual touch or spontaneous pleasure; they simply give me more options, allowing me to explore different sensations and to honour what it craves in the moment, without guilt or shame. There’s no one “right” way to experience pleasure; it’s about embracing what truly brings you satisfaction. 

Heck, isn’t it way better to feel good and authentically enjoy being pleasured rather than faking an orgasm? So, whether I’m going manual, using sex toys, or mixing it up with both, it’s about practicing mindful masturbation, finding my rhythm and celebrating whatever makes me feel alive and empowered. 

And particularly, out of all the toys I’ve tried, nothing compares to my Polly.

"Hi, meet Polly the Soul-Sucking Clit Toy"

Let me explain that a clit-sucker is a type of vibrator designed to use gentle air-pulses to stimulate your clitoris in a way that feels almost like oral sex.

But Polly, the one I’m obsessed with, is not your average clit-sucking vibrator. 

What makes Polly truly unique is not just its clit-sucking function, but also its clever design. The “handle” doubles as a dildo for vaginal penetration, adding to its versatility. However, the real standout feature is the warming function around the mouthpiece of the C-spot stimulator.

Imagine your clit being gently enveloped by a sense of warmth that feels like it’s being kissed by the sun while being massaged by 6000 pulses with gentle air per minute! 

The suction head gradually warms up to 37 degrees Celsius, automatically enhancing the whole experience. 

Why does that matter? Well, warmth helps boost blood circulation to your erogenous zones, engorging it, which in turn amplifies sensitivity and leads to more intense orgasms.

At first, when I tried it, it was completely alien to me. The sensation was so intense that I could barely keep it in place for more than a few seconds. It has a 100% success rate based on my own experience every time and I felt like I could climax in under 30 seconds, no joke. It was overwhelming in the best way possible.

But over time, I’ve learned to control it. Now, I keep the settings low and savor the build-up. And let me tell you, with this baby, I’ve had up to 10 orgasms back-to-back, from those deliciously slow build-ups to the oceanic waves of pleasure. I’ve even discovered how to squeeze my kegels while riding the orgasmic waves, extending the sensations each time. It’s like a tidal wave of pleasure that just doesn’t stop.

While I haven’t experienced squirting with Polly myself, I’ve heard from several of my friends and customers who’ve had that experience. In fact, four of them told me they can actually squirt every time they use it! That’s wild, right? 

One thing’s for sure though: we’ve all secretly become part of the Polly alumni, bonding over this incredible device.

The Secret Ingredient: Mental Surrender

Even with the best toy, mindset plays a huge role in achieving orgasm. Many people find it harder to climax with a partner due to performance anxiety, trust issues, or external distractions. When you’re alone, there’s no pressure. Though that said, mental roadblocks can still creep in.

Stress, negative thoughts, or even a wandering mind can interrupt your pleasure. When that happens, I turn to an old friend: fantasy.

The Fantasy Trick: How I Use My Imagination to Enhance Pleasure

Here’s an example of one of my go-to fantasies:

I imagine that my clit sucker is actually my lover’s lips. He starts off slow and gentle, teasing me. Then, as I get closer, he applies more pressure, pushing me to the edge but holding me there, drawing out the pleasure. Finally, when I can’t take it anymore, he goes all in. I instinctively try to push him away, but he resists, keeping me locked in that exquisite moment until I surrender completely to the wave of pleasure.

Of course, I like to spice things up depending on my mood too. Changing the setting, the characters, or even adding more people into the mix. The beauty of fantasy? It’s entirely yours to create.

Breathwork + Polly + Fantasy = Orgasmic Bliss

When I combine a well-crafted fantasy or erotica, my Polly, and a little breathwork, the result is nothing short of ecstatic bliss. I’ll often fall asleep afterward with a satisfied, cheeky grin on my face.

Since discovering Polly, I’ve been raving about it to all my girlfriends. If they don’t end up buying it themselves, I’m definitely gifting it to them for their birthdays. I even bring it into my relationship to spice things up, using it as foreplay to get me aroused and ready before we have sex. After all, 80% of women don’t reach orgasm from penetration alone, and research shows we need a lot more clitoral stimulation to reach that peak! Ever heard of the Orgasm Gap? It’s a real thing.

When to Seek Additional Support

If you’ve tried everything and still find it difficult to orgasm, it might be time to explore deeper emotional or psychological factors. Sometimes, unresolved trauma, past experiences, or ingrained negative beliefs about pleasure can create mental blockages that make it hard to fully connect with your body and experience pleasure in the way you deserve.

This is where exploring intimacy coaching or working with a therapist can make a world of difference. A coach can help you unpack any emotional barriers or limiting beliefs you may have around pleasure, sex, and your own body. 

Final Thoughts: Your Pleasure, Your Power

Orgasms aren’t just about physical sensations—they’re about connection, surrender, and owning your pleasure. Whether solo or with a partner, discovering what turns you on and learning how to bring yourself to orgasm is an empowering experience.

So if you’re still wondering if you’re capable of orgasm, my answer is: Hell yes, you are. You just have to find what works for you.

Now go forth, explore, and enjoy the ride. 😉

Got a burning question about pleasure or spicing things up in your relationship? You’ve come to the right place! I’m Jacqueline Kee, co-founder and resident sexpert at Hedonist, here to tackle all your curiosities about intimacy, passion, and everything in between without shame or judgement. So, don’t be shy—fill up this form (anonymously), and let’s get you some answers! 💕